march - log - 2025: thoughts on everything I am making sense of
unfiltered entries on writing, AI, relationships, literature and chasing clarity.
I like how my brain works. Sometimes. So I decided to document it. Welcome to my log of consciousness:)
This is inspired by Michael Dean. Few months back, I read this excerpt from his essay:
A real-time capture log implies that your own life is the best source for inspiration; not feeds, articles, or encyclopedias. Having a public log changes how I see the world. Every moment, experience, and conversation is an opportunity.
Since then, I am hooked with the idea of capturing my consciousness. There's an attractive nature to fragmented, unedited, unfiltered thoughts.
His process also seems quite simple to do:
It only takes me 10 minutes each morning to read through the past day’s log, pluck out the worthy ideas, and archive the rest. The whole system is basically a text-file per day.
Each month, I’ll share fragments from my brain. Things I’ve been thinking, questioning, noticing. Call it a diary. Call it a thought-dump. Call it Akanksha’s brain.
Some thoughts you’ll find inside:
why AI art makes us uncomfortable?
what makes art meaningful if the artist didn’t suffer?
notes on privilege & self-sabotage
what classic literature before the 1950s reveals about different cultures
love without relationships, relationships without love
Let’s begin.
March 31st, 2025
1:30 PM - Oscar Wilde once said, "all art is quite useless."
He believed in art for art’s sake. Art does not need to 'do' anything. Art’s value lies in its ability to exist without function.
Its purpose is beauty, expression, and aesthetic experience.
So, would he call an AI art, art?
Only if doing so revealed something deeper about beauty, ego, creation, or the absurdity of life.
He might say:
“It is not the origin of a work that defines its artistic merit, but the manner in which it insults or illuminates the soul.”
2:40 PM: The saddest thing in life is wasted talent. I found it disturbing that so many people resonated with this idea that I tweeted:
“strangers, friends, people close to me, all have said this one thing to me, "You have a lot of potential." They can see I haven't reached there yet.
I don't try to think about it but sometimes I do wonder, what is it that they see and I don't.”
8:10 PM - People had the same reaction to photography as they did to AI art today. It was thought of as meaningless mechanism for replication. They thought it lacked refinement and sentiment that only a human could provide.
But today, photography is an art. We see and feel as much emotion from it, as any other influential art.
So maybe, just maybe, in the upcoming years. More new creativity tools will be coming, reshaping and redefining the idea of what we call art.
8:30 PM - Efficiency wins over time. Anything that’s faster and good enough + cheap (if possible) will win over all the existing solutions.
March 30th, 2025
3:08 PM - When AI creates beauty, we feel cheated. It was supposed to be our thing. Something to express our talent and uniqueness. When you & I create something, a lot of time and effort goes by. So when we finish the thing, we feel a sense of happiness, as if all the suffering and pain was worth it. We feel as if we earned it.
But now, when you see a stunning piece of art, and you hear it was made by AI. You don’t like it, why is that?
There’s a drop in emotional attachment once the "human sweat" is taken out of the equation. Because we've grown up believing that struggle equals authenticity. We don't want the truth. We want the illusion of depth. We want to believe someone suffered for our pleasure.
In 2018, a portrait called Edmond de Belamy, made by AI, was auctioned at $432,500. People were furious. Some said “this isn’t real art.” Others said, “the algorithm deserved no credit.” The absence of struggle disturbed them.
We adore the story of J.K. Rowling writing Harry Potter on napkins in Edinburgh cafés. Now imagine a bestselling book generated by an AI trained on all of Rowling’s works. Same story. Same characters. But most readers would scoff. Because no hardship or magic was involved in the process.
From Van Gogh to Sylvia Plath, we’ve mythologized pain as a prerequisite for beauty.
A painter spends 200 hours on a canvas. Another finishes in 2. We instinctively respect the one who suffered more.
But if the final work hits the same?
What then?
There is struggle that sharpens the work, brings magic to it and then there is struggle that just signals effort.
March 29th, 2025
2:43 PM - Privilege. No matter how much you run from it or run after it. You either have it or you don't. And everyone has some kind of privilege. A card to play.
So, it's better if you look towards the future, see what you want to build and use every resource available to you.
8:01 PM - If you see someone do something, don’t blindly copy them. Instead see, what exactly are your strengths and weaknesses. It’s very difficult to beat someone who is playing on her strengths and who is having a lot of fun.
8:43 PM: Fear, self doubt, self sabotage, procrastination, addiction, distraction, perfectionism... all can be overcome with stupidity, stubbornness, delusion, blind faith, obsession, arrogance & optimism.
March 28th, 2025
10:33 PM - The society that preaches the righteousness the most, is the most hypocrite at its best.
1:20 PM - Respect is the most important thing in a relationship. It makes you a better listener, a better friend and a better lover.
March 27th, 2025
3:05 PM - Art on its own is useless. Unless someone stares at it with intensity.
Until now, AI art didn't invoke intrinsic emotions. It triggered mostly extrinsic ones, surprise, awe and fear coz of the capability of AI art. But no emotions were caused by the art itself.
But now art, has been decentralized.
A piece of art can be personally meaningful without needing collective validation.
I think it's a bold and beautiful shift.
March 26th, 2025
4:06 PM - Conception happens at the most primal level of chaos and abandonment. Babies, the most beautiful being, are born in blood and chaos. The hospital room may be spotless and sterile but birth itself will always take place amid chaos,, pain and blood.
4:12 PM - Saying “you & I” is such a beautiful way of expressing “we.”
4:30 PM - The answer is always “yes.” To all the crazy ideas, adventures, misadventures, successes & failures, the answer is always “yes.”
March 25th, 2025
11:05 AM - Irrespective of gender, in the history of mankind, who ever holds less power and influence has been exploited.
12:56 PM - People shouldn’t be rewarded for not following their dreams. They shouldn’t get approval from their families. They should get rebuked instead.
March 24th, 2025
6:24 AM - If it energizes your craft, keep going. If it slows you down, drop it without guilt.
7:05 PM - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.
If you want to read the struggle of attempting suicide. It’s the book for you. There is a dignity that people look for in the way they choose to die.
Many of the classic books have been turned into beautiful movie adaptations but this one with it’s poetic beauty has been hard to capture on screen.
March 23rd, 2025
9:36 AM - To blend into the society without losing yourself into the vanity of it is an art. An art which I am fascinated by but don’t have any particular interest in taking part.
March 22nd, 2025
8:32 AM - Anything that takes time away from your craft is not worth it. A Pulitzer prize winner novelist got upset when she got to know, she has won a prestigious award.
Her reaction, “Oh Christ! (with a dismissal shake of her head)”
As if she knew how bad media attention could be.
10:56 AM - The best story comes up when no one follows a typical definition of a villain. There’s no agenda to destroy someone out of envy or jealousy. It’s just a clash of agendas. Every character is following their agenda but other characters unknowingly become antagonist for his story.
The choices they then make, the moral ambiguity, mistakes, repercussions. All of it makes up for something interesting. The count of Monte Cristo seems to be one such book. (still reading)
March 21st, 2025
6:57 AM - One of the most beautiful ice skating videos I watched in recent times by Tara Prasad. My all time favourite is by Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. It has a woah factor to it.
9:40 AM - When push comes to shove, people would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven.
March 20th, 2025
7:05 AM - People who crib about how the world is unfair to them. They never stop cribbing no matter how much the world does good to them either.
People around them get desensitized by their cribbing. They don't evoke sadness, pity or any kind of sympathetic feeling anymore. Just anger and irritation for being so annoying.
March 19th, 2025
2:30 AM: Most people take writing too seriously. They act as if there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things.
They hesitate before they write, second-guess themselves, and brace for judgment before anyone has even read a word.
Every piece of writing is a test. An experiment to see what works. You can’t fail in writing if your only goal is to see what happens:
“Let’s see what happens if I start my post with a question.”
“Let’s see what happens if I cut my introduction in half.”
“Let’s see what happens if I take a dry topic and add a story.”
“Let’s see what happens if I remove the first two paragraphs and start in the middle.”
Some experiments will work better than expected. Others won’t. Either way, you do more experiments. Because this is a test. This is only a test.
There is no downside. Try everything!
6:51 AM: The part of us that we imagine needs healing is not the part we create from; that part is far deeper and stronger. The part we create from can’t be touched by anything our parents did, or society did. That part is unsullied, uncorrupted; soundproof, waterproof, and bulletproof. In fact, the more troubles we’ve got, the better and richer that part becomes.
—Steven Pressfield
9:11 AM: Writing is socially acceptable manipulation.
A well-placed word can make someone crave what they never cared for. The right sentence, at the right time, can rewrite someone’s reality.
Great writing controls the environment of the reader. It taps into the things we pretend don’t influence us — status, fear, desire, the need to belong.
March 18th, 2025
11:05 AM - The next time an idea comes to you in your dream. Wake up and write it down. It’s a test. Ideas are fleeting, if you don’t capture them, they would leave you someone who would recognize their worth and appreciate them.
11:06 AM - Make a catalogue with things of exceptional quality and let it seep into you. Remember the best works that you come across.
11:07 AM - Your niche will not be discovered through just introspection. Instead it will be triggered by the interaction with the outside world.
So get your butt out of the chair. Do some real shit and you will know.
March 15th, 2025
6:21 AM - Your music and people by Derek Sivers is of one of the most considerate people I have come across. And you can see this in his writing and stories.
He hired someone in Chennai to make an audio recording of him slowly and clearly reading the names of the fifty people he was supposed to meet with. Just so he could practice pronouncing everyone’s name correctly when they met.
6:40 AM - We attempt to make ourselves worthy of love by working on ourselves, usually the external factors but don’t take out time to tame with someone, it’s time we invest in a person that makes us one in a million for them and not the external factors.
We keep saying go out and work from cafes, go out and read in a café, go out and you will meet someone. But you won't be able to tame with someone if you go out everyday but to different places and at different times.
9:25 PM - One philosophy I follow when I am hiring or giving feedback:
I write down everything that needs to be done. I get into as much detail as possible when sharing my thought process.
This allows the other person to see what needs to done and why it matters. It reduces unnecessary back-and-forth and allows them to make better decisions independently.
9:45 PM - In every marketing call, I see myself repeating this sentence a lot: "let's keep it simple."
But reaching this stage is not simple.
It starts with weeks of coming up with different strategies, testing ad sets, campaign assets, drafting awareness + conversion emails, reworking ideas in back and forth sessions, diving deep into the details. This process is messy.
After putting all this effort, I end up saying, "let's keep it simple"
In all this, one thing has been clear to me:
Simplicity isn’t where you start. You can’t decide to keep things straightforward before you even understand the full picture.
Simplicity is something that comes out from going deep into the waters - the data, the audience psyche, the signals. You have to sit with all of it, let is stretch your thinking.
Only then can you strip away the excess and get to what truly matters.
So, when I say, “let’s keep it simple,” I’m not dismissing all the work we put in. It's just that, we’ve done the work. And now, it’s time to sharpen the edges, to make sure what remains is clear, focussed and resonates with the audience.
March 14th, 2025
6:45 PM - I lowkey feel like starting a podcast starring Indian authors — authors that I am in touch with. Like Kitaabi Cabins dive a lot into recommendations. But I would rather dive into the process and depth of a few books than a lot.
Maybe diving into a few classics.
Maybe documenting my thoughts that I am having about
7:05 PM - How is Indian literature different from American, Japanese, Russian and English Literature?
American Literature seems to be very individualistic, leaving things to interpretations. Not only one way to write or wrong. It has always been about personal freedom, self reliance and moral ambiguity. That grey area is very perceptible here.
When I read Little Women, it was different from a Victorian society in its subtleties.. In 1900s American, it was respected if you worked and made money for yourself. But in London, it was seen as low status. If you have to work for money. It came across as uncouth and uncivilized. People take pride in their estates, born privilege and not having to work for money and looking pretty and playing games.
7:12 PM - Focusing on literature before the 1950s allows for a purer look at the foundational themes of each tradition, before globalization and modern literary trends blurred the lines.
7:15 PM - Indian Literature which essentially involves scriptures is very attuned to soul seeking and moralistic.
A lot of classics deal with social issues, with a strong sense of patriotism involved.
Even today the retellings of Mahabharata, Ramayana, from different perspectives.. are some of the bestsellers.
The problem with Indian Literature? Whenever I go to any Hindi publisher’s website — it’s all filled with the works of Premchand.
Where are the other pioneering authors?
7:24 PM - Russian Literature is deeply psychological, philosophical, and obsessed with suffering and fate.
7: 25 PM - English literature is very society driven — as if rich folks had too much joy in their life, so they looked for pain.
Japanese Literature is serene and just peaceful… where emotions are held back, not fully expressed.
7:50 PM - Books are a devil when it comes to influencing your behaviour. It's the shadiest influencer of all. They influence how you write, speak, words you choose to speak and the lens you use to view the world.
You think you are reading the book but the book is reading you too. It’s reading you and changing the most sublime parts of you. That’s why books are banned and treated as more frightening than guns.
A written word once imprinted on someone’s mind as their own thought, becomes a part of them, almost impossible to take back or undo.
March 11th, 2025
11:40 PM - Every time I read anything by Walter Isaacson, I have a huge smile on my face and tears in my eyes. His writing is just so damn good.
An acknowledgement page is generally not an interesting read. But when Walter writes it, you would be a fool to not read it.
He is simply marvelous when it comes to memoir writing, picking bits and pieces of someone's life and articulating it in such a way that the dead person comes alive. He makes you believe that you know the person, understand the person by sharing their little peculiarities.
I can see why Steve Jobs wanted him to write his biography.
He not only makes someone's life interesting on paper but also explains science with such fluidity that it makes me fall in love with the combination of literature and science. So far, I have seen this happening in his book Einstein & Code Breaking.
In Code Breaking, I got reminded of everything I knew about DNA and got to learn a lot about RNA.
The knowledge was wrapped up so beautifully in storytelling that I didn't even realize when I gained so much factual knowledge about RNA and the experiments that went into the discovery of it.
If I could have even 1% of writing genius that Walter Isaacson has I would be amazed.
2:05 PM - I have a problem. I always put my hands in too many cookie jars. I am not able to finish the whole cookie jar and then I am left with too many cookie jars half opened-half finished creating a chaos all around.
Working on this.
3:21 PM- Half-attention = Zero results
Better to nail 3 crucial things than half-complete 10 tasks.
March 10th, 2025
1:07 PM - All influence is bad. There is no such thing as good influence. Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts or burn with his natural passions. He becomes an actor of a part that was not written for him.
— From the book, The picture of Dorian Gray
2:39 PM - Don't do 100 things. Do it 100 times.
March 9th, 2025
1:57 PM - Life is so much more interesting and fun most days when I get up on time. Sleep on time and do things on time.
7:27 PM - Someone asked, "When you cold email, how do you decide that this person would say yes?"
I don't. I go with, "Do I want to work with this person?" If yes, then I pitch as best I can.”
Sometimes a prospect might not need your product or service right away. So build a rapport instead.
Someone in their network might need it. They might need it in future. And you need to be in the forefront of their mind because of the delightful email you sent months ago.
It isn't always about instant yes or no.
March 6th, 2025
12:17 AM - People who take ownership of their work are a gem. They ask questions and constantly follow up on their own. They make sure the end to end work of their part gets done.
I want to work with people I can rely on, pay them more. And eventually build a profitable product where they get a buy-in into the success.
2:46 AM: I wish more people in India get to play the game with an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset. That their basic needs are met and their childhood is filled with happy memories. So that when they step out and say yes to projects, it's because they are excited about the project, and not because they need money.
When people grow up knowing they’ll always have food on the table, a safe home, and access to healthcare, they make decisions differently. They take creative risks and make long-term bets.
But when security is fragile, every decision is weighed against immediate survival—making it hard to play the game on your own terms.
People stay in jobs they hate, say yes to projects that drain them, and hold back from taking risks because the cost of failure is too high.
When basic needs are met, people can think long-term. They can experiment, learn, and take on challenges just for the fun of it.
March 4th, 2025
1:00 PM - I need to write the whole draft first and then edit. When I edit in the middle of the writing, it takes longer than necessary to finish. This time when I sit down to write it will be to finish the first draft first and then anything else.
A new way to writing essays:
Information dump + Free flow writing
Research
Sit back and relax
Read the whole thing
Sit back and relax.
Take a pen and paper. Map out a plan.
Heading
Subheading
Intro section
Ending
Clear Ideas
Middle sections and pointer organized
Rewrite the essay on print
Take a break
Edit
If time permits, get feedback
Publish
March 3rd, 2025
11:23 AM - What is agency?
Why everyone raves about it? I have a general idea but I don't understand what does it exactly mean to have 10x agency.
Here's what I have understood so far:
At its core, agency is the ability to act on your own terms instead of just reacting to circumstances. The more agency you have, the more freedom, control, and leverage you gain over your time, decisions, and future.
Most people operate with low agency. They follow orders, stick to a predefined career path, and wait for opportunities to be given to them.
Agency is the ultimate unlock. If you have agency, you don't have to rely on circumstances or people, you can just:
Work on meaningful projects.
Say no to things that drain you.
Choose how you spend your time.
Make decisions without asking for permission.
It’s not about money alone — it’s about control. The richest person on paper can also have low agency if they are trapped in obligations they can’t escape.
When people talk about 10x agency, they mean multiplying their power to control outcomes. They play a different game with more leverage.
When you have 10x agency, you aim for:
Expanding your leverage (skills, networks, capital, systems)
Making independent choices
Setting the agenda on your own
Having more options (more money, more time, more influence)
The more leverage you build, the more agency you’ll have.
6:10 PM - I need to go deep in Math and AI. Get printouts of AI papers that I want to study.
6:53 PM - Questions to explore on agency:
How did agency become so popular? Who are the people with high agency in the history of mankind?
What does it mean to have agency in the AI world? Why is to so important?
Intelligence vs Agency?
Isaac Newton, Einstein, did they have more agency or more intelligence?
What do you need more, agency, grit, intelligence or delusion? What if an equation was to be made around agency?
How would agency work with delusion?
9:07 PM - People remember bad endings. Some of the great Indian Television shows with great concept lose their spark because the story is stretched to the point that it deviates from its initial concept. Audience gets restless and bored, they stop watching. This results into low traction, less money. They have to shut down the show on a whim, and they end the show with a crappy ending. Leaving a bad taste in audience’ mind.
There are shows that have closed shop in the middle without giving an ending an all. Scorpion was one such show. Manifest was going to be one such show but it got so much traction on Netflix that they created the last season.
There was a book called Strom and Silence, I read it in 2018. At the time the author was still writing its sequels. I never wanted the book to end. Unfortunately, that wish became true. The author is still writing its sequels after 8 books or so.
But now the book is ruined from me, the initial edge the book had? It’s gone now.
A tight ending is better than stretching a story so much that it loses its elasticity and impact.
There’s a beauty in wanting more. Which gets ruined when it’s given. When I want a story to never end, but it’s ended anyways on a strong note. There’s a sense of completion around it that feels good.
9:25 PM - Relationships without love exists. Love without relationships exists.
Whenever there is any of kind of bargain or conditions in love, it tends to disappear the moment an adversity strikes.
I wish I could write about love again with the poetic edge I used to have.
March 2nd, 2025
11:45 AM - There’s a wave of people compressing information and supplying it as, “Read this book in 10 minutes by reading its summary.” But what if it is repackaged as life changing principles, every morning in your inbox. And the subtitle says, age old wisdom from books.
11:48 AM - On a surface level art is useless. It doesn’t has any tangible value. But that one piece of music, one piece of art, one piece of writing that grabs someone’s attention with intensity changes someone’s life. It seeps into their souls. Just one person is enough to make an art worthwhile.
But as a whole, art is actually useless, but the one art where the artist is invisible means a lot to someone.
7:23 PM - I am all for having big dreams. But the lifestyle I aim for is a quiet one. I am not a big city girl. I need peace around me to hear the loudness inside me and reflect that in my art.
10:28 PM - Words by Jordan Peterson:
“You can use your sense of meaning to calibrate your progress through life. But there are rules. You have to aim for the highest possible good that you can conceive — But what the hell you know?
So, you can begin by aiming at the star you can see rather than the dimmer one you can’t yet perceive.
Then, the first decision you have to make is that you are going to do this honestly. This decision is fundamentally about love: choosing to believe that existence is worthwhile and you are going to work for its betterment.
The second decision is about truth: having chosen your direction, you are going to play a straight game with integrity.
Having made those two decisions, You can allow your sense of meaning to calibrate your pathway.
10:28 PM - It's better to be engaged in the solution of a complex problem to not have a problem at all.
10:35 - What Dostoevsky does in his novels: He makes a proposition and then he spent months or years trying to figure our if he can take the bloody thing apart if there's something wrong with it. I want to find out. I want to hit it with a hammer and see if it breaks.
10:37 PM - There are some games that you don't get to play unless you are all in - marriage is one such game.
I can't imagine how much of a repressed compromise men and women had to make because of arranged marriage setup.
10:38 PM - Why not do the best thing possible that you can do while you are waiting to die?
You are blind to your weaknesses but you are also blind to your strengths
11:01 PM - I have been resting till now I haven’t created my fortune yet.
11:04 PM - If I am angry or upset with someone who is close to me, I am going to address that before the day ends. I will never let the sun set on my anger.
This is hard for me because I am naturally a non-confrontational person. I am confident, but if I can avoid confrontations, I choose that path. I would rather sulk and let the anger fester instead. So with this new approach, I am not going to let the sun set on my anger. (I really like this line - to not let the sun set on my anger)
11:07 PM - Whatever happens work should never stop. No feelings, no thoughts, no stress should stop me from doing my work. This part of the poem, this is important for me to learn:
“I am glad a task to me is given, To labour at day by day, For it brings me health and strength and hope, And I cheerfully learn to say, ’Head you may think, Heart you may feel, But, Hand, you shall work always.’”
11:12 PM - Crisis brings people’s best self forward. Without crisis, most don’t have the will or urgency to do better.
March 1st, 2025
10:54 AM - What kind of pleasure do people get from insulting other people before supplying their opinion?
Why can't there be a banter of thoughts without insulting? Is it because people already feel insulted when their opinion is disregarded or not taken seriously or proven wrong.
There’s a superiority complex that people show for with sarcasm and roasting when an interesting idea is being discussed. It’s funny at times but also a little distracting. This shows that no matter how intelligent, humans are driven by emotions and are highly irrational. In fact, the rational brain bends to the whim of irrational brain, to explain away it’s decisions.
Most of the time I have already made a decision based on my gut. Then I just look for explanations that will justify it.
11:00 AM - I have too many days filled with regret over wasted time. Days that I would like to relive and do right by them.
I want to be be better, learn better. Finish things to the end.
2:01 PM - When you are content too soon. You stop having high aspirations your goals become too small or non existent. You start to live in the shadows of others.
Big dreams attract people who are inspired by your vision. Some of them choose to work alongside you because they start believing in your vision.
2:03 PM - We all have keys to unlock our dreams.
A painter has their brush. A writer has their pen. An entrepreneur has their ideas…
But do we unlock it? That remains to be seen.
2:15 PM - I am growing a new appreciation for hardcover books, they are so sturdy to hold onto, the pages don’t bend and it’s easier to write on. The only crux is the binding shouldn’t be too close to the margin. I am reading Little Women (Hardcover) and The Picture of Dorian Gray (paperback) simultaneously.
February 28th, 2025
4:32 PM - When I was doing my monthly review, I knew I had lost my way in Feb.
Dropped my walking habit
Broke my 49-day deep work streak
Watched and read too much
Slept excessively
Avoided work and isolated myself
I have too much randomness around me, I am not able to focus because there are no concrete steps that I am focused towards. The month of Feb was full binge reading and binge watches and too much sleeping. I didn’t want to work. I wanted to be closed off from the world. I destroyed my routines. I lost my streak of continuous deep work at 49 days. The month was there and I just fucking wasted it.
I keep saying I have too much work but it’s scattered all over the place. No one thing is finished.
When I played chess, with my mentor I realized how much I have missed during this month of Feb. I haven’t learnt anything new in the last 4 weeks. My index cards don’t have ticks because focused hours are not being put in.
4:50 PM - In chess I learnt about pawn islands. It’s a group of well connected pawns. If you have more no of pawns but less no of pawn islands. You have a strategic advantage. Pawns truly are the soul of chess. Each pawn on its own is an pawn island.
An island, in the middle of the water, surviving on its own. Becomes more flourished and grounded and stable when its well connected with other islands, but it is an island on its own nonetheless.
4:56 PM - Whenever I am overwhelmed with work and life. I revert to lists. I make a list of everything I want to do and have to do. I make a list of my priorities, it gives me a starting point and gives a visual of what the end point would look like and where I have to reach.
Now, instead of swimming at one place and going nowhere, I start to swim towards a certain direction.
5:30 PM - Do your part well. Others are relying on you.
The comfort of all depends upon everyone doing their share faithfully
5:35 PM - Something more than energy and good will is needed to make good food. Basic cooking is a skill that everyone should know.
It is good to have a few duties and to live a little for others. (Inspired by Little Women)
5:36 PM - You show that you understand the worth of time when you employ it well. When you do this, youth is delightful. old age has few regrets and your life becomes a beautiful success. (From Little Women)
5:40 PM - Being seen and heard by your parents is a beautiful confidence booster for a kid.
People want to matter in other people’s lives. They don’t like it when they don’t hold any significance in anyone’s life.
8:10 PM - What kind of pleasure do people get from insulting others before supplying their opinion? Why can't there be a banter of thoughts without insulting? Is it because people already feel insulted when someone disagrees with them? And they have this urge to insult the person back?
Is this why people find it surprising and aww in wonder when clashes of thoughts happen without any insults thrown in?
February 27th, 2025
6:28 PM: . When people grow up and they live alone, without family, they not only seek companionship but they also seek responsibility. People like to be needed. They adopt pets out of care for the pet and themselves. They like having someone who appreciates them for the love and protection they provide.
Some turn to gardening for comfort. They think of it as their responsibility — the one thing that life that they aren’t going to let it die.
Some like to grow tomatoes and potatoes, some like to grow roses and jasmine, some like to grow herbs like tulsi, mint and curry leaves. Then there are those who prefer resilient houseplants, living companions that forgive occasional neglect.
February 26th, 2025
7:06 PM - When you have a crush on someone, you intuitively start to observe them obsessively.
When I have a crush on someone, I can't help but notice their tiniest of actions. I know their dreamy smell, can recognize them by their footsteps. I would know what music and food they like, just by observing their body language.
The best part is recognizing the tiniest of things that makes them happy is completely effortless. You just want to be there and soak it all in.
This made me realize that on a deeper level, being in love is somehow better than being loved. I am considering this scenario in isolation, there's no abuse or disrespect of love happening, and let's just say, the feeling is not mutual or wholly recognized yet.
9:24 PM - "Oscar Wilde is funny and smart," I told my baby sister after she picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray.
She looked at me and said, "How do you know? Have you met him?"
"No, he is dead," I replied. "I have read his writings."
She turned the book and started reading the description. "...a deeply moral artist friend of impish Lord Henry."
"Henry is a god?" she asked, looking up from the page.
"No, why do you say that?"
"His name starts with Lord," she explained. "Lord Rama, Lord Shiva.”
I burst out laughing. Then I explained to her how the European system of aristocracy works and why Lord Henry is not a god.
She thought for a moment, nodded seriously, and said, "You are right, Oscar Wilde is funny.”
9:30 PM - Every book has a different smell. Sometimes you can recognize a good print by the smell of it. I am growing a new appreciation for hardcovers.
February 25th, 2025
3:35 PM - Loved this excerpt from Little Women about marriage. It strengthened my resolve.
“Better be happy old maids than unhappy wives, or unmaidenly girls running about to find husbands.
Make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contended here if they are not.”
Another one that I really liked:
“Money is a needful and precious thing, and when well used, a noble thing, but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I’d rather see you poor men’s wives, if you were happy, beloved, contended than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace.”
5:56 PM - I need to focus on one primary pursuit in life. So that it can compound and outrun everything else — Writing. But sometimes I feel I don’t have enough material to write on and forcefully coming up with material seems wasteful and meaningless.
But then at any point of time my brain is always conjuring thoughts. So it’s never blank either. And I want to focus on the pursuit of writing forever. I want to write till my last days. I want to write daily. I want to write some snippet every hour.
6:34 PM - On July 22nd, 2024, I read an essay by Michael Dean about capturing his consciousness. I was fascinated by the idea of logging my consciousness on a daily basis.
Every time I do something that has been delayed. It bugs me. The seed of idea for Log of consciousness had been planted in my head 7 months ago. But today is the day I actually created a public channel for it. It took me 7 months to implement this simple thing. I could have had so many entries by now.
This is so, so cool. As you said, quite long (which is good!) so I skimmed and didn’t read all of it. But I loved your reflections on art, AI, suffering, wasted talent, and more.
Hi Akanksha! Thanks for writing this, so many little phrases sentences and thought lines that I resonated with. Inspired me to jot down more figments of my mind. I will try it for April; i think I have a compulsive need to write with a start and an end that makes complete sense (remnants from my journalism era).
Looking forward to reading more of your writings and discovering your voice as an artist